My wife is the best person I know. She recently made a comment that reminded me of when I was younger rocking out to Hall and Oats or 65 love affair on my record player. Sometimes the needle would get stuck and the same couple words and notes would repeat over and over and over and over... well, you get the idea. She was headed in a completely different direction with her thought than where it took me but in the words of Buckaroo Banzai "no matter where you go, there you are".
A week ago I received a gift. I have received this same gift every year for the past 3 years. I knew it was coming, like fruitcake but not bound for the trashcan. One of my guitar students gives me a sum of money every year at Christmas time. Honestly, I look forward to it. The materialistic side of me starts thinking in November about what I'm going to spend it on (not proud of that). This year was no exception. On the same day that I received my Christmas "bonus" I ran into an old co-worker. He and his wife left our church some time ago to plant a church. That's hard work. They don't make a lot of money and they have a lot of kids. As soon as I saw him the record started skipping in my brain:
Brain: "give him your bonus"
Me: "nope"
Brain: "give it"
Me: "uh... no"
Brain: "yes"
Me: "but I have plans for that money"
Brain: "so do I"
Me: "But we're the same. Aren't you my brain?"
Brain (or something else): "..."
Me: "Hello up there?"
Brain (maybe Holy Spirit...): "choose"
At that point in the conversation I had spent about an hour with this guy and I was in my truck driving away. I turned around. I wish that I had obeyed when I first was told to but I didn't. My friend thought I was crazy. I think I'm crazy. Not because of that particular incident but I can think of a few hundred other instances that testify to my lack of sanity. He tried to not take it but was persuaded when I said I had to do it to be obedient. Weird. I'm not one of those "God audibly spoke to me" people but I tell you, He made it difficult for me to ignore what He was saying that day; and I tried. I REALLY tried. Sometimes God comes in the gentle whisper and sometimes He's got a 5 pound sledge hammer headed toward your face.
So, back to my wife...
She said (and this is taken somewhat out of context) that there was no hope for the american church. This was rooted in the ideology of America that exalts the individual and individual happiness over everything. Don't agree? Look at your checkbook. Break everything down into percentages and if the scale tips in your favor... Don't want to use your checkbook? Use mine. The same thing would be true. The vast majority of what I receive goes right back to me. I make time for things that matter to me. I like to say some things matter to me that actually don't based on the allocation my time - not what I say mind you, but what I actually do. Checkbook's the same way. My sister loves big cats - bengal tigers, snow leopards - the kinds that are cute in stuffed animals but in real life would eat you. Her checkbook proves it. She has given to organizations that help protect the habitats of those animals. I would like to support those animals by feeding people that bother me to them. That’s not real support and not actually true (most days).
Proof.
Money = proof of value.
Digress. Sorry.
Back to the hopelessness of the American Church…
She’s was reflecting on a story about a third world country where an American had gone, behaved in a very “un-American” way and made a huge difference; so huge a difference in fact that a book was written about her. The context for that is found in our efforts to raise 8 children in the midst of a society so deeply entrenched in entitlement and self-preservation that the idea of losing your life to find it almost cannot be translated.
So…
What if the third world could be brought here?
That’s the endless repeat question and I need to think about it more before I finish that thought.
