Thursday, December 2, 2010

Part 1/won/uno/the first (coming shortly after others)


My screen saver at work is everything from the My Pictures folder on my computer. I look forward to walking in and seeing what will be on there. All of the pictures are of my family, mostly my kids and wife. There aren't very many current pictures on there as lately it seems the ride of life is more like being on the back of a mechanical bull than sightseeing on top of a double-decker bus.

One of my favorites is of my son who was about 2 at the time with coffee grounds and a completely disgusted look on his face. My kids are always asking for whatever it is that I have and when it could prove to be sufficiently funny to induce a belly laugh I usually give it to them.
Me: (Cleaning out the coffee maker)
Asa: Moah? (which was Asa-speak for "I want that")
Me: (shifty eyes and maniacal grin as I oblige)
Asa: ... (the above picture)
I don't want to forget that moment...

I realize that there are some fairly momentous things going on in my life. I have flashes of clarity where I understand that what my crazy wife and I are attempting to do is not actually ... normal. But, just like Doc Holliday told Wyatt Earp at the end of Tombstone "there's no such things as a normal life, there's just life".
It might be worth it for me to try and process the process...

I have entertained the idea of adoption for a long time. I like how the Bible refers to us being adopted as sons of God. I like that it is a sober declaration of the reality that love, contrary to what Hollywood would tell us, is a decision and not an emotion. About 2 years ago I down-shifted the idea of adoption to serious speed. An opportunity presented itself for my wife and I to adopt a teenager. At the time my biological kids were 3 and 2. We didn't go searching for a teenager. I never said to Jody "you know, babe, your sarcastic remarks to me are getting boring... maybe we should adopt a teenager to step it up a notch". God (tricky fellow that He is), just kind of presented it to us and we jumped. We entered the foster licensing process and even doubled up on the classes so that we could finish early and be ready. Then, poof, the opportunity vanished. I did not want to foster. I started the process to adopt. I'm an emotional sissy. I don't like the idea of bringing people into my life only to shuffle them back out again. Once they're in, I want them to stay so fostering wasn't even vaguely appealing to me. (Insert the Tricky Fellow a.k.a - God) ...

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

cashola


Every once in a while I buy a lottery ticket. Not weekly and honestly, not ever with any hope of winning. I once won $19.38 from the New York powerball. I should probably call it good at that and just quit. I have this crazy idea though. I never check the numbers the day after they draw them. Lots of times I don't check the numbers for weeks. Why? well, because I think that would be an incredible illustration. Imagine standing in front of a group of people and saying "I was a multi-millionaire and didn't know it... I had in my pocket the $89 million ticket and still ate at McDonald's..." Ok, so I would NEVER eat at McDonald's but you get the idea. Vast resources at my disposal and I didn't realize it.

What an illustration for our lives.

Paul says in Romans that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ...
-except that business trip that took us a little too far from home,
-or the doctor who just said some long sentence with the word cancer in the middle,
-or our teenage daughter who is drifting away from us and is starting to show,
-or the stack of bills that we just can't pay...
No, he actually says nothing can separate us from the love of God. Nothing. Rest on that for a minute. We have unlimited resources at our disposal every day and we tend to live as though we're paupers. We have the winning ticket in our pocket...

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Time


twice every decade or so seems about right for posting...

I've been on this weird journey of Grace lately. Several things have been roadmarks for me along the way. The great little book by andy stanley "how good is good enough", John Mark McMillan's song "How He Loves" and of course my own brokenness (borkenness...). I don't know that I would have ever said it before but I think I've lived most of my life pursuing grace...like it's just around the corner and if I just do (insert whatever the cause of the day may be) then I'll catch it (read deserve it). Pretty stupid... There's an amazing freedom and motivation just on the other side of realizing that God knows me, I mean really knows me, and loves me anyway.

-All have sinned and fallen short...

-While we were still sinners...

-There is now no condemnation...

-For God so loved...

-If God is for us...

-It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort...

-It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort...

-It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort...

-But we have this treasure in jars of clay...

...and you and I are invited to work with Him to change the world.

Basic truths that the rest of the world grasps as easily as "pull tab to open" sometimes hit me like a mack truck.
(and yep, that's a swatch watch)